Try this out, you might like it!
Based on my loose knowledge of cognitive behaviour therapy, I have devised a simple experiment that I believe, if you follow it, you will find out a little bit more about how your own brain works and gain insight into how others think too. This is not a strict test, you can deviate, you can do it on your own, you can do what you like. It’s meant to make you question yourself, positively and gain empathy for others. It’s probably best if you do it with a friend or even a partner. I designed it to connect people and spread the vibe. It is that simple.
You will need:
A piece of paper
A favourite drink
(This is not about shares or likes but you might need to share this privately with one person. Or just do your version on your own)
Agree with your co-tester a time of day to do this, in different locations.
Pick a time – for example At 11:00am, write down short answers to these questions:
1) Right this moment, how do you feel?
2) What is your earliest memory?
3) If you had just one wish, what would it be?
Now, try to forget about these questions. Go and make yourself a coffee, tea, have a cigarette, go for a walk. Take 5 minutes. Relax. Forget about these three questions. Put away the paper.
Do not talk to anyone else about what you are doing. Forget it. Get on with your day.
Then, later that day – agree a second time. For example, at 11:00pm that same day, get out your piece of paper.
Now, ask yourself the same 3 questions and write down 3 new answers, underneath. They may be precisely the same answers or not. Write it anyway, try not to look at what you wrote earlier.
Look at the paper, read it to yourself out loud. Read it again to yourself without saying anything.
Ask yourself, what if anything is different? What connects the answers? Is there anything that comes up that you could describe in one word?
What is that word?
Finally, if you could create your own one question what would that be and who would you ask it to ?
Now the fun bit.
Arrange to meet your friend for a drink this week. Agree a venue, agree a time, agree a place. Agree a time frame. Agree to definitely go somewhere else after 2 drinks at that place.
Take your paper with you.
When it’s your turn to go to the bar or the coffee house whatever, buy your favourite or usual drink. Then buy the friend the same drink as you.
Whilst you both drink that same drink, one of you speaks about the 3 questions. You can let them read your paper or not or just talk. But the other should listen.
For the next round you do it in reverse.
Your mate buys you their favourite drink and this time, you listen.
After 2 drinks. Throw away the paper. Leave the venue.
Go together. But see how long it is before the other talks.
There are no smart answers to this.
There are no right answers.
No right types, no profiles.
What you do next is up to you.
Then at the next 11:00am after your meeting ask yourself this:
How well do I know myself?
How do I feel right this moment?
How will I feel tomorrow?
How do I want to feel tomorrow?
What can I do to feel more like that?